The Royal Society for Public Health (RSPH) published a study in 2017 that examined the impact of social media on the mental health of young people. The results are alarming. The study’s lead, Shirley Cramer, summarized it as follows:
“Social media are more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol. Therefore, we can no longer afford to ignore their effects on mental health.”
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According to the study, Instagram and Snapchat are particularly prone to inducing feelings of inadequacy and anxiety among young people. This aligns with the experiences we’ve had at our institute over the past few years. However, we also observed a significant increase in compulsive disorders and depression. These symptoms were more pronounced in individuals who also exhibited signs of social media addiction.
Overview of All Topics
Social Media Addiction: Symptoms You Should Watch For
The term “addiction” is by no means an exaggeration, as evidenced by a study conducted by the Forsa Institute in 2021 for the German Employees Health Insurance (DAK). According to the study, 85% of 12- to 17-year-olds in Germany spend nearly three hours per day on social media. For 2.6% of them, all criteria for a full-blown addiction are met. This means that in Germany, approximately 100,000 minors are so addicted to TikTok, Instagram, and similar platforms that a sudden cessation would lead to genuine withdrawal symptoms.
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Test: Are You Already Addicted to Social Media?
If you want to test whether your child (or yourself) is already dependent on social media, you can do so with the following seven questions: If the answer is “yes” six times or more, immediate action is needed. However, you shouldn’t simply take away your child’s phone, as this won’t help. Doing so would only make Instagram and similar platforms more attractive, while parental advice becomes less appealing and is soon categorically rejected.
A smarter approach is to lead by example and offer better alternatives for your child to spend their free time meaningfully. Try out a few activities and see what happens. Sometimes our children can become passionate about things we never thought possible. For example, when my daughter was spending too much time on her phone last year, I dug out my old dartboard and darts from the basement and hung them up in the garden. When I played a few rounds with friends in the evening, my then-15-year-old started joining us more and more often. Now, our garden has become a regular meeting place for her friends, and kids who used to stare at their phones for hours are now laughing and competing in dart tournaments.
Viel klüger ist es, selbst mit gutem Beispiel voranzugehen und bessere Angebote zu unterbreiten, mit denen Ihr Kind seine Freizeit sinnvoll verbringen kann. Probieren Sie einfach mal ein paar Sachen aus und lassen Sie sich überraschen. Manchmal lassen sich unsere Kinder für Sachen begeistern, die wir nicht für möglich gehalten hätten. Als meine Tochter vergangenes Jahr mal wieder zu viel Zeit an ihrem Handy verbracht hatte, habe ich zum Beispiel meine alte Dartscheibe samt Pfeilen aus dem Keller geholt und im Garten aufgehängt. Wenn ich abends mit ein paar Freunden die eine oder andere Runde spielte, gesellte sich meine damals 15-Jährige immer häufiger dazu und wollte mitspielen. Mittlerweile ist unser Garten ein regelrechter Treffpunkt für ihre Freunde geworden, und Kids, die früher stundenlang ins Handy gestarrt haben, liefern sich nun lachend ein Dart-Turnier nach dem anderen.
Seven Questions About Social Media Addiction:
- Are you mostly dissatisfied with yourself?
- Do you often feel that others are leading more exciting lives than you?
- Do you frequently compare yourself to people whose lives you only know from social media?
- Do you often feel stressed, even when there’s nothing to do? And do you only find relief when scrolling through social media?
- Do you often feel lonely?
- Are you dissatisfied with your body, or do you often look for areas that could be better?
- Do you often fear that you might be missing out on something?
The last point, often referred to as Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO, can significantly contribute to the development of compulsive disorders as well as anxiety and depression. But what exactly is meant by FOMO? The best way to understand it is through an example that you might recognize from your own life:
You finish work and start scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed for entertainment. You stop at a post from an old school friend. The photo shows them with a colorful cocktail in hand, while the sun sets over the ocean in the background. A little further down, a coworker posts a picture of a beautifully presented meal, and you learn that they are currently exploring the newest restaurant in town. Just a moment ago, you were perfectly content sitting on your couch at home, ready to watch an episode of your favorite show, but now you suddenly feel like you’re missing out on something.
Or worse, the thought crosses your mind that everyone else is having more fun in life than you are. If this only happens occasionally, it’s not a big deal and might even be a sign that you really should go out more often. However, for children and adolescents, all these posts encounter a brain that is still developing. While most young people know that mainly extreme experiences—both positive and negative—are posted, the sheer volume of posts still subconsciously creates the feeling that they are constantly missing out on something.
FOMO: Often the First Step Toward Social Media Dependency
FOMO describes both the fear of missing out on social events and the worry of not knowing when others are experiencing great things. As mentioned earlier, there’s no need for concern if you only experience this feeling occasionally. We are social beings and derive joy from shared experiences, whether we participate directly or at least indirectly. FOMO becomes a concern when individuals can’t go even a single day without checking Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook. Or when they become excessively upset just because they missed a message on WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger, leading them to miss out on a party or event.
My Tip:
Encourage your children to engage in activities and goals that have nothing to do with social media, but still fulfill their need for social interaction.
Copying media role models can lead to mental illness.
Has this ever happened to you? You look up a product online, and shortly afterward, you’re bombarded with related offers, even though you never intended to buy anything or have already made a purchase. In the digital age, data is the most valuable currency. That’s why not only are your own online activities tracked and analyzed, but so are those of your children. The goal is to present us with exactly what interests us most the next time we go online—either to spark our purchasing interest directly or to profit from selling our data. Whether we like it or not, our online behavior profile is worth money to marketing firms and online retailers. It’s no wonder that the saying goes, “If you get something for free online, you’re still paying—with your data.”
When I was researching my third book, “Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts and Compulsions”, I noticed that within a very short time, social media began offering me almost exclusively videos and posts related to obsessive-compulsive disorder. The hashtag OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) became omnipresent. What struck me was that this term was often used in posts that had nothing to do with the actual disorder, but instead suggested a slightly obsessive personality at best.
Pictures of perfectly organized laundry drawers, symmetrical gardens, and even neatly parted hair were all tagged with #OCD. But why? It seems that mental health issues are increasingly becoming a fashionable accessory in the online world—a must-have to be noticed at all. If you’re “normal” on social media, you’re ignored. Either you’re radiantly healthy or mentally struggling; anything in between falls through the cracks of attention. One might think that this is a good thing because it finally brings issues like obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders, or depression out of the shadows of stigma. Unfortunately, that’s only partially true.
Social Media Outing: Well-Intentioned Is Not Always Well-Executed
At first, I was genuinely pleased that more and more celebrities were coming out and talking about their mental health issues. When public figures take this step, it sets an example. I thought it would make it easier for non-celebrities to openly discuss their problems and seek professional help. And initially, this was likely the case. When Robert Enke, the goalkeeper of the German national football team, took his own life in 2009, and it became known that he had suffered from depression for years, it sent shockwaves through the world. “What, he was depressed too? You couldn’t even tell.” Suddenly, mental health issues were no longer a taboo subject, and a lively discussion emerged.
But much has changed since 2009. Nowadays, hardly a day goes by without celebrities extensively discussing their mental health struggles on television or social media platforms. Dozens of books have been published, and quite a few have become bestsellers. While the role model effect is still present, a new and troubling phenomenon has emerged in the wake of these media pioneers. As strange as it may seem, being mentally ill can also attract a lot of attention and recognition. Those who come out often generate more followers, likes, hearts, and thumbs up than someone who painstakingly creates new content week after week. Shared suffering has become a valuable currency in the media world, and it is especially coveted by minors. Because with this currency, they can buy something that is frequently in short supply among adolescents: recognition, significance, and a sense of belonging.
Social Media and the Power of Victimhood
Those who publicly talk about what it’s like to have a mental illness become immune to criticism. Anyone who dares to suggest to an influencer that they are less a victim of obsessive-compulsive disorder and a more savvy marketing strategist will be publicly shamed in the comments. But before my readers cry out in indignation, an important clarification: I am not talking about those who are truly affected and who offer support and advice to their fellow sufferers. These people still deserve the utmost respect. I am talking about the growing number of opportunists: mentally healthy individuals who exaggerate harmless tics into full-blown obsessive-compulsive disorders to gain more clicks and followers. The Italian author Daniele Giglioli writes in his book “The Victim Trap: How the Past Binds the Future”:
“The victim is the hero of our time. Being a victim grants prestige, attracts attention, and creates a powerful identity, entitlement, and self-esteem. It immunizes against any criticism and guarantees innocence beyond any reasonable doubt.”
In his essay, however, the author does not mock those who are oppressed or persecuted. Instead, he highlights the fact that, in an increasingly mindful Western society, it can also be quite lucrative to be a victim. Whether as a refugee, a mentally ill person, or a persecuted minority, the victim role is increasingly being exploited to gain an advantage. And this comes at the expense of those who are truly victims and urgently need our help and attention.
Social media promotes the Werther effect.
In the described development, I see the greatest danger in the fact that young people, in particular, may subconsciously view mental illnesses as desirable. Those in the midst of self-discovery often look to media role models for guidance. This phenomenon is not new and can sometimes have extreme consequences. When Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s work “The Sorrows of Young Werther” was published in 1774, it led to a wave of suicides. The popular book, whose main character suffered from unrequited love and eventually committed suicide, inspired many imitators at the time. Two hundred years later, American sociologist David Phillips coined the term the Werther Effect. He used it to describe the phenomenon where the suicide of prominent figures often leads to an increase in the suicide rate among the general population, as seen, for example, after the death of Marilyn Monroe.
But let’s not immediately assume the worst. If people are willing to imitate their idols to the point of not shying away from death, how much more likely is it that they will also copy less dramatic behaviors? That’s why I frequently ask my young patients about their role models. I’m interested in whom they follow on YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok and what motivates them. It’s not uncommon for young people to spend more time with influencers on their smartphones than with their own families.
I’ve noticed that the role models young patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety typically look up to are frequently those who struggle with similar issues and regularly discuss them. Most respondents said that this was the main reason they followed these individuals. However, things got fascinating when I analyzed my notes more closely. It turned out that almost half of the affected individuals had already been following these influencers before they showed any signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder or anxiety.
This leads to two possible conclusions. Either some affected individuals subconsciously copied the obsessive-compulsive or anxiety disorder, or they were already in an early phase of these disorders without being aware of it.
Of course, it’s initially good and important to know that you’re not alone with your problems and that even celebrities suffer from them. However, this commonality also carries a risk that has become increasingly significant in recent years. Having the same illness as someone you’ve admired for years creates a sense of belonging and identity. In psychology, this is referred to as a secondary gain—a situation where an illness brings not only burdens but also positive effects that one subconsciously doesn’t want to give up. In this case, it could be a sense of belonging to an idol or simply an “easy” explanation for why you sometimes don’t feel comfortable in your own skin. I’d like to illustrate how essential this last point can be with a conversation I had a few weeks ago with my teenage daughter.
Social Media: Children Want a Box to Fit Into
A few weeks ago, I was out for a walk with my daughter and our dog. We talked about her school day and the issues that her generation is currently most concerned about. Along with climate change and the war in Ukraine, we also touched on the topic of mental health. It wasn’t me who chose the English term for psychological well-being, but my daughter, who said:
“You know, Dad, kids my age often feel dirty for no apparent reason. This’mental health thing’ is on our minds from morning to night. You wouldn’t believe how many of my classmates have already been to a psychologist to figure out what’s wrong with them. Many have been taking antidepressants for years, but what most of them really want is just an explanation they can accept—a kind of label or box they can fit into that says: anxiety disorder, eating disorder, ADHD, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. The same goes for sexual orientation. It’s not as simple as it was in your day, where you just had to figure out if you were heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. Today, we talk about being pansexual, polysexual, or asexual, and even gender is much more nuanced. Besides male and female, there’s also trans male, trans female, genderqueer, or nonbinary. The more decisions we’re supposed to make, the worse we feel. And then we start looking for reasons for our ‘mental issues.’ We want to know what’s wrong with us. Are we in the wrong body? Do we have a mental illness, or is the world around us just completely messed up?”
I’ve thought a lot about this conversation and have become convinced that social media has significantly contributed to this negative development. Today, our children largely lack the opportunity to simply grow up and gradually figure out who they are and where their path will lead. Instead, social media dictates to them day after day how they should be, what they should love or hate, and which issues are supposedly more important than anything else.
Call me old-fashioned, but why do 14-year-olds today need to know exactly what their sexual orientation is? Why are minors today more concerned with mental illnesses than psychology students were in my day? Something is seriously going wrong!
Obsessive Rumination, Anxiety, and Perfectionism Through Social Media
Another phenomenon directly related to social media consumption is perfectionism. In fact, we should start calling social media “antisocial media” because it fosters envy, resentment, self-doubt, and hatred. The biggest problem, however, is that younger viewers in particular believe that what they see in countless posts is real. Enhanced with dozens of photo filters, people almost always present themselves in the best possible light. Although this has little to do with real life, it nevertheless fuels an ever-increasing drive for perfection. Everything must be controlled; constant comparisons are made, yet there is an increasing feeling that everyone else is living an amazing life while you are somehow left out. Over time, this leads to obsessive rumination, fear of rejection, and depression.
This reminds me of a scene I witnessed some time ago at a street café. At the next table sat a girl of ten, maybe eleven years old, who vehemently refused to be photographed by her parents. A heated discussion ensued, during which the girl explained that she couldn’t bear the thought of photos of her being circulated without her control. Without her “favorite filter” and the right outfit, she couldn’t stand being photographed. I don’t know if I was witnessing an unfortunate moment or if the child was already truly perfectionist. What I do know for sure is that the tendency toward perfectionism opens the door wide to compulsive behaviors. And the way young people today consume and present themselves on social media significantly promotes this unfortunate development.
Therefore, my plea to you is this: Let’s set an example together and lead by being good role models. As entertaining as social media may be, a little less Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and the like will do us good as well. It will also give us the time we need to spend more time with our children outdoors, cooking, or engaging in some physical activity together.
Troy A.
Tampa, Florida